Do you ever feel like the world around you is dictating what your days are filled with?

Somehow, life grabs the pen and takes over your calendar as you watch in disgust and overwhelming fright.

Several years ago, I watched my life swirl around me like a whirlwind of mom chores, and then it happened. I began functioning in Re-active Mode.

I was driving my children around to and from school or activities, fitting in quick grocery shop runs, and answering non-stop doorbell rings from maintenance men who were always coming to fix something, most of the time unannounced.

Throw my sweet little baby in the mix, all the normal daily events and to-do lists, and the emotions and activities of 5 people in the house, and it began to feel like I was holding a wobbly tower of blocks in my hands, just pacing around non-stop to keep them balanced and prevent them from falling.

But then, one day, I did something brave.

I decided to let the blocks fall.

Over the span of two months, I examined the different blocks that were on the ground – asking, “How did you get here?”

Is this how life is supposed to be?

I never wanted a go-go-go lifestyle, but I didn’t stop the blocks from joining the group. More and more activities welcomed themselves into my life and shoved me aside, and I reactively started trying to balance them. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t say no. I just stood there trying to balance it all.

Let me also point out that I am very good at saying, “No” to things.  I don’t agree to every bake sale or event, but small things had a way of entering into my days and without me structuring my days and claiming what I wanted to intentionally do each day, the world (and a lot of times my children’s requests) began filling the unclaimed spaces.

Passively, I let certain blocks come into my life because I thought – having a lot to juggle in life is normal.

Let me say that again – I thought that having a lot to juggle in life is normal.

I do believe that juggling a lot has become our new normal, but I don’t believe that God designed us to be running at break-neck speed in life with little to no sense of really enjoying it.

Honestly, I got so frustrated, I came to a point of no return.  I made the decision that something had to change… actually, a lot of things needed to change.

I began asking myself, “Does my life need to look like this?  Do these blocks get to choose to be in my life or can I choose which blocks I want?”

I want to share with you some of my realizations that I had because I hope that by reading these, I can make you feel normal, but also inspire you to examine the blocks in your life and re-evaluate what should and should not be there.

My Family:

– I had let my love for routines drive our evenings until I felt like a drill sergeant blowing a whistle every few seconds or minutes making sure the troops were getting their backpacks ready or pajamas on and teeth brushed.  I’m sure I was driving the kids nutty (and no, I didn’t really have a whistle), but I was internally driving myself nutty too!  My baby’s crib shares a wall with my kid’s bathroom, so all the bathroom noises: tub, shower, singing, splashing, yelling was waking my little one, thereby making me either want to cry or wring someone’s neck.  I hated the way I was doing things, but too busy to figure out a new way to get things done but in a peaceful, more relaxed way.  I am still trying to figure that one out.

– I realized that I had gotten into the habit of being at my children’s every beckon call.  When they would call out for me, I would even walk to the room that they were in, instead of telling them to come to me.  Seriously!  If they wanted to play something, make an experiment, watch something, do an art and craft, there I was squeezing that extra block into my day.  If I heard a crayon drop to the floor,  I would glide over that direction to pick it up, meanwhile also trying to grab the meat to defrost for dinner and put things away that were out of place. Oh my gosh!  As if I didn’t have enough to do already, I let their issues become mine.

– I needed to have regular date nights with my husband so that we could get past dealing and talking about the “business” side of our life with the kids and other things that needed to be done.

My Calling:

– I was engaging in only part of my calling (writing) as I have been steadily working on my book, but I was hardly using any other gifts or strengths that God had given me.  I hadn’t really ventured outside my four electric-fenced walls, well, not very much.  I needed to get out there and in essence, get outside myself.

My Lifestyle:

– I wasn’t making myself a priority.  Exercise was sporadic at best.  I was still sleep deprived from baby calls in the night.  I’m not sure if I drank all the water I should be, and the amount of coffee crept its way up on a daily basis.  And I can’t remember the last time  I didn’t just cut my finger nails as super short as possible because I just didn’t have time for anything else.

I was so busy putting on everyone else’s oxygen mask, making food, helping with homework, answering that dang doorbell up to four times a day and driving around like a taxi cab, that I didn’t notice that I was suffocating in the busyness of caring for others.

Do I have to answer each door bell?  Do I need to allow my daughter to do this many activities?  Nope!  Will life go on?  YES.  And not only that, it will go on in a more calm fashion…as long as I take a look at the blocks every now and then and evaluate their: necessity and duration of stay.

The more I take the time to evaluate the blocks in my life, the more I enjoy living a life with purpose, intentionality and learning how to re-invent my life.

Since those two months of evaluation, I have been changing things up and I am liking the changes.  The question I am really asking myself with each block is – Do I think this is what God wants for me to do in this current season of my life?

If I can say a hard yes, then it stays.  If I am not sure, I will sit on it longer, and mull and mull until I come to a place of conviction and say – yes or no.

I really do believe that the seasons in our life and the actives that we fill those seasons with, come and go more frequently than we think.  Some may last months and some years.

In the season I am venturing outside my walls and trying new things in my local community.  I am going on dates again with my husband and allowing my kids to only do 1-2 activities instead of 4.  And you know what?  I am feeling joy come back.  It’s slow, but it’s coming.  Joy in the fact that I feel like I am getting more on track with what God has for me right now, in this season because I know there are blessings there.

Until later Friend… look at your blocks, evaluate them and give yourself the freedom and hope that you can re-invent your block tower.