There are times in life when we have felt God’s presence; but what about those times when you don’t feel Him?
I want to share a bumpy experience I had when I did not “feel” God’s presence…
Years ago, I had the opportunity to teach a class at my church. I was very nervous because I felt unequipped and had decided that no one wanted me to tell them how to live their lives. Mentally, I was setting myself up for failure. I asked if I could co-teach with my mentor Shelli and that made me feel a little safer. I prepared my notes and practiced teaching my daughter’s stuffed animals—all avid listeners.
Still tied up with anxiety, I prayed and told God, “I want to know you are with me in this. How can I know you are with me?” He answered, “If Shelli wears a pink shirt, you will know I am with you.”
My eyes widened and I quickly went through the Rolodex in my mind of Shelli’s outfits. I don’t think I have ever seen her wear pink. Not ever. Oh boy! This could be bad.
The morning of the class, I mentioned to my husband how nervous I was and his classic response was, “Just don’t be nervous.” Awesome. I needed God and I needed Him now! “God be with me. God be with me,” I said under my breath. I started commanding fear and nervousness to leave me and declared that I walk in peace and that His peace sustains me.
I began to fly through my notes and all of a sudden, I saw it—three heads bobbing in the crowd. “Oh my gosh! They are falling asleep, “ I thought. “My voice is monotone! I had no idea I had a monotone voice!” Then I thought, “If I take a long breath in between sentences, people will get bored. So I better not…breathe!?” Logic was not in my corner at this point.
Breathing ever so quickly and with a shaky voice, I rushed through my notes in a record 30 minutes, not the 50 minutes I had practiced with Pooh Bear. What a disaster! But I was glad to be done and told myself, “It’s over. You did it. Good or bad, it’s over.”
As I sat down in the front row waiting for Shelli to finish the class, tears began dripping down my face. I casually and quickly wiped them so no one would notice, but all the while I felt like I had failed. People came up and thanked me after class, but I was sure everyone was just being nice and courteous. It didn’t matter what anybody said, I felt like I had bombed and wanted to magically vanish.
But later that night a thought came to me; I turned to my husband with a smile and squealed, “Shelli was wearing a pink shirt with sequins on it! God was with me!”
Then it hit me—God knew I would not remember his “Pink Shirt Promise” until that evening, which meant, He really needed me to know, that although I felt like I had failed, He was still there. Though I didn’t feel His presence, He was with me the whole time.
Take-aways:
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- We cannot let our emotions tell us whether we “feel” God’s presence or not. He simply is with us.
- God’s presence does not equate to us “feeling successful” all the time.
- When we feel like we fail in the natural world, we might be slaying giants in the supernatural.
- True success is not dependent on us—it is dependent on God being with us. His grace is large enough to compensate for anything we do.
The truth is, pink shirt or no pink shirt, God was going to be with me. The humorous and comforting part is that He wanted me to realize that He was already in that classroom before I ever showed up.
He was there with me then, and He is here with you now.
Prayer: Thank you Father for your constant presence in my life. I declare in Jesus’ name that everywhere I go, I am blessed. Lord, I walk in your favor and love because of who you are. I ask you to empower me to do those things you have called me to do. Thank you for your love.
Deut 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
